When it all seems shit...

Sometimes you just have to remind yourself just how good it is for you.

Yesterday I left work and could not get over how grumpy I was. I was well past the point where the grumpiness becomes self-perpetuating. I was mad because I was mad.

I had a run in with a co-worker. Not a big one, but one that really reflected back upon myself.

He's really just a pup, and holy shit is he loud, and inconsiderate. Much like I was at his age. We often play music around the office. But usually when there are just 2-3 of us and rarely do we crank it up very loud. When there are 5 or more, it's almost always head-phones time. When it is played out loud, we take turns, so there is a good variety.

But, the Pup just doesn't 'get' it.

To make matters worse... Yesterday was Kentucky Derby Day, which meant that the work load for the person doing my specific job was heavier and (no pun intended) higher-stakes than ANY OTHER DAY OF THE YEAR. On top of all that, due to some software glitches that appeared last week, my job could only be done by one person - rather than shared, as it usually is on high-volume days. The result was that I have never been under more pressure at my job than yesterday.

Meanwhile, the Pup was playing his music CONSTANTLY with the volume at 11, all day. I have no idea why no one else said anything, and certainly I should have said somethign long before I did, because it didn't come out very nicely.

It would have been less of an issue if his music taste was broader. Generally when he plays his music it is the eccelctic, yet bizarre mix of: Chris Issac - Wicked Game; AC/DC - Thunderstruck (a song that they wrote long after they jumped the shark, in my opinion); Billy Idol - White Wedding (there's a reason I can only hear that song once every now and then and still be able to enjoy it at all , but it's a long story); Public Enemy - Night Train; and the real crime of it all, any number of songs that he wrote himself (it's not that they're specifically bad, they're just typically derivative self-aggrandizing gangsta rap, and I've long since got past the point of being able to find amusement in a kid from Coquitlam talking about how he "laid a man down with [his] A.K.") But honest to god, that's it! His own weak efforts plus four songs. It makes me mental.

So, I was pretty down on myself when I got home. I was mad that I was mad and mad that I felt like I've been mad for longer than I can figure - which I'm pretty certain simply means that I have to quit drinking coffee, which won't be the end of the world - certainly not after the first week.

When I got home Eden wanted me to go out to see a play that her Ex-husband wrote. He was going to be there. Fucking great. We've never met.

But I've been wanting to get the 'meeting Vern' thing over for nine months now. I just didn't want to have to do it when a) I'm feeling like Godzilla and b) Looking like a Trailer Park Boy (for an upcoming role) - a fact that is only exacerbated by the fact that any clothes I would identify as 'good' are in the laundry.

I went anyhow - I didn't really see that I had much of a choice. The first of the two of the three plays were weak. Not outright bad, but I was simply not in the mood to put up with mediocrity.

Then came the third play - Vern's. He showed up just before it started. That was a good warm up. We got introduced, shared some pleasantries and the lights went down.

Luckily his show was the best of the three by a long shot.

We went out after wards and we joined by the Co-Artistic Director of the theatre company. It was good to chat with Vern and share some theatrical stories. It was also really good to talk with Johnna (The A.D.) - nice to find out that the A.D of a Professional Theatre Company also has a 'real' job to make sure that there is a regular income and that there's a benefits plan in place. I totally understand that. She also had some really nice things to say about a piece that I wrote and submitted to her company over a year ago. Yay.

So, here I am back at work - and back to a day with normal volume (both of music and of work). And I'm thinking that actually life is pretty good. Yeah I'd rather be doing just my art - but seeing as I'm not/can't I'm glad I have a job where I can do a lot of my art simultaneously... most days. Derby Day excluded.

I look out the window and see the crack-head shuffling down to Victory Square and Pigeon Park and I know life could be a hell of a lot worse.

I'm still going to have to have a polite and rational conversation with the Pup about how he plays his music and that no-one should have trouble hearing their headphones over it, and also let him know that I think Public Enemy is one of the most under-rated bands of the past twenty years... just so that he doesn't think I hate his taste, and maybe to encourage him to be a bit more creative and rise above the poseur level he's currently at.