This one makes me howl. It was probably funnier ten years ago when the references were that much fresher. I didn't write this for any reason but to amuse myself... that happens a lot.
EXT. OUTSIDE MADISON SQUARE GARDENS, NEW YORK - TWILIGHT
Broadway is barren of people. The sky is a dark, dirty red. There are huge potholes in the pavement. Abandoned cars litter the street. Windows in the surrounding street are long since broken. Vines and creepers cover many things. It has been a long time since this place was disturbed by sentient life.
Madison Square Gardens itself is in terrible repair. The roof appears to be caved in and the doors are broken off, hanging on their hinges.
A lonely wind blows dust down the street.
The sound of horse hooves echoes between buildings.
A pair of horses appear at a trot. They slow down to a walk outside of MSG. Atop one horse is an earthy, busty, beautiful woman in a short buck-shin dress. On the other - Brendan Shannahan. Shannahan is dirty and unkempt. He is wearing a loin cloth.
He dismounts and helps the woman down. He looks at MSG in awe. The couple enter the colesieum.
INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDENS, RINK LEVEL VOMITORIUM - MINUTES LATER
Dim light fingers through the huge hole in the ceiling. Rubble is strewn across the rink and the seats are all in dis-repair.
A lonely zamboni, broken, sits mid-rink.
Through the passageway enters Shannahan and his female side-kick. He enters the rink area and looks around, gaping in disbelieving horror.
He casts his gaze upwards where his eye falls upon a banner in the Rangers' colours. Boldly printed on the banner - which hangs askew from a broken girder - is the number "99."
Shannahan falls to his knees and pounds the floor.
You did it. you finally did it you bastards! Damnit all to hell. You blew it up, you bastards. God damn it, you blew it up!
Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. HOCKEY RINK - MODERN DAY
A chimpanzee stick-handles down the ice.... Skates in on goal.
He shoots! He.....