Sunday, September 11, 2005

When What Makes Most Sense Makes No Sense

Eden and I have been having a bad time recently.

She's already been married to a workaholic artist.

On paper she's the best girlfriend ever. But we just can't seem to meet in the middle. I can't change who I am and she can't handle the negative side of who I am. She's attracted to guys who are a lot like me. It's not like she'll be able to move on to someone else and avoid the problems that she's had with both Verne and I.

It's a bad place for her to be.

As for myself, I think she's awesome, but I get really weary of her analysing our relationship with her psychology degree, I also think she needs to just let me be who I am. Encourage me, but don't limit me. Work with me, not against me. When I say against, I don't mean that she tries to cause problems, but she doesn't always appreciate my methods for what they are. She also doesn't think we have similar long term goals. I think she's dead wrong there, I'm just not worried about them - they will come when they come and all I can deal with is what is in front of me.

She also compares where I am to Verne. Success and the path to it is a continuum, not an on/off switch. And I can only deal with things one step at a time.

We've been actively struggling for a while. Last night we decided to 'take a break.' Taking a break strikes me as an almost certainly deadly approach to releationship repair, but I really don't know what is left. We need to find out if we're miserable without one another. If we are, then we can make the necessary adjustments - we'll be clear on the need and the stake. But I haven't got high hopes.

'Trial separation' is synonymous with 'practice break-up.'

But it appears as though it's all we have left unless we want to start hating each other - and we like each other too much to risk that. We're just not that masochistic or foolish.

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